Wish List vs. Action Items

The holidays are always a time of reflection, and this year the annual exercise is even more intense for me. Here I am, seven months after diagnosis with a better than could be hoped for outcome. Around Thanksgiving, I encouraged everyone to make a list of things they wanted or still hoped to accomplish if they knew their time in this life would be cut short. If you made a list for yourself, look through it again and determine which ones are wishes for things or events that you are simply waiting for. Then determine which things on that list can only be attained or achieved if you act on it. Therein lies the difference. So many times, we sit and dream about the things we want to happen to us, like winning the lottery, or finding true love, or getting a better job, or having more meaningful relationships with friends and family. But what are we doing towards making those things come true? Did you buy that lotto ticket? Are you putting yourself out there to find a relationship? Are you a positive employee who contributes meaningfully to your company or at least trying to find a career that better suits you? Are you loving and appreciating the people in your life as you should or are you waiting for them to love you first before reciprocating?

When I go to treatment, I see a few of the same smiling faces each time and witness many acts of kindness between nurses and patients, and among the patients themselves. They sometimes talk across the room to each other, tell jokes or stories, find humor in their situation, sincerely wish each other happy holidays, help each other open doors, push IV stands, or settle comfortably in the infusion chairs with blankets and pillows. You'd be surprised to hear how much laughter there is in that busy infusion room, despite each chair being occupied by a cancer patient. I realize that these cancer patients have discovered a little of life's meaning through this experience. That we all face separate battles in life, even if they fall under the same description. Each journey is unique and sometimes battles must be fought individually, but not necessarily alone. Along the way we can find allies who can provide company, comfort and hope. They can be total strangers or the people you know and love dearly.

I usually read a magazine and drink a cup of tea to pass the 3 hours of infusion. But sometimes I put the magazines down and just watch the other patients and try to read their life story in their faces or guess what kind of cancer they have. Other times, I sit and daydream about all the things I hope to accomplish or do with my kids once treatment is finally over. But then I stop and think about how I am actually going to get there without simply waiting on it. It's one thing to wish for something and quite another to do everything necessary to make it happen. So these days, when I make a wish, that wish is accompanied by a mini-list of action items that I need to do in order to make my wish come true. Some of us are lucky enough to have good things fall into our lap, but all of us must realize that we have to actively choose the right place to sit for that to happen. Whether or not you want to accept the idea, we are all the products of our choices in life. Sometimes we make bad choices or mistakes that land us in unpleasant or unhappy situations, but there is always a way out if we find a way to turn things around. Sometimes, it's a lot of work to pull yourself out of a hole that you've dug, but it's better than just lying down and letting yourself get buried. There's so much that you have control over, but it's also a form of taking control to cut your losses when things don't work out.

I wish to be done with cancer for good, I wish for my sons to have a safe and happy childhood, I wish things to be better for friends and family who are suffering poor health or misfortunes of their own. But beyond simply wishing for these things, I will do whatever I can and contribute as much as I am able in order to better my own lot in life as well as those for whom I love. Our health and happiness are inextricably linked, so when things are going good for you, please help others who are in a less fortunate place. It's all a part of finding allies, comfort and hope as I mentioned before.

Turn those wishes into action items to give them a better chance of coming true....