Hungry for Happy Hour

Tomorrow, I head to Overlake Hospital in Bellevue for my abdominal surgery. Not allowed to eat anything today except water and clear liquids (no solid food, no milk, no soy, no red dyes). At 6pm tonight, I have to start my MoviPrep regimen which involves drinking two canisters of very nasty-tasting powder mixed with lukewarm water. It kind of tastes like liquid lemongrass and is supposed to "clear me out" so that my colon will be prepped for surgery. There's no end to the fun and glamour. I am trying to keep my spirits up, but it's especially hard when you're hungry too. This morning I got some strawberry yogurt on my hand while feeding Rowan and Spencer their breakfast. I had to stop myself before I licked it off! For lunch, the boys shared a Quarter Pounder with Diane, but only after we told them it was a Krabby Patty. The ruse worked beautifully since they love Spongebob Squarepants so much. They ate it all, except for the pickles. I was tempted to even eat those cast-offs from my toddlers' meal- that's the pitiful, hungry state I'm in....

Speaking of food, my friend Jenny and I had a few delicious hours last week to hang out and catch up. We had lunch at a new Vietnamese restaurant in Tukwila called The Lemon Leaf. It's right off the same exit as IKEA, but its interior decor reminded me of The Tamarind Tree in the International District. Very chic and upscale, but the menu was exceptionally affordable like most Vietnamese eateries are. She did find a live bug in her fresh herb/veggie plate (not in her main dish), but the staff was suitably embarrassed and gracious about removing her meal from the tab. We talked so much about our kids, work, life and ideals of happiness. We were so engrossed in our conversation that we pulled our party over to Anthony's Home Port in Des Moines during Happy Hour. I had a fresh, hot espresso shot poured over three scoops of vanilla ice cream, float-style. SO GOOD! My brother Jeff joined us since he lives just down the street, and the three of us contentedly polished off calimari, pan-fried oysters, and shrimp salsa & chips as we watched the sunset over the marina. I realized that I used to do this sort of thing all the time, and now, it seems like these moments of blissful relaxation, good conversation, and excellent appetizers are stolen moments.

It's only been 4 months since my diagnosis, but my world has become more somber. In that moment with Jenny and Jeff, enjoying food that I hadn't been able to eat in a long while, I truly savored and enjoyed it while I could. Today, I am still thinking of that food, but more importantly of the conversation we had. We all get dealt a rotten hand sometimes, but life is what you make of it- even if you have to go to a place that labels it Happy Hour for you. This week, my friend Gina wrote to me of her mom's and her grandmother's struggles with cancer. I know it must have been hard for her to dredge up those memories because she suffered along with them during their illness. I also spoke to my friend Joni, whose mom has been battling metastatic breast cancer (now in her liver) for the past 7 years- when they originally told her she had 6 months to live. I had a good conversation also with my friend Lynnett, who is having a hard time of her own and didn't want to bring it up because she was worried it would add to my burden. In sharing your sad stories, you also shared with me important lessons, and my spirits have been lifted by your gift.

What I realized is that I have a lot of STRONG WOMEN as friends. This includes my 214 friends, my amazing cousins, childhood friends and even many co-workers over the years who have demonstrated their integrity and good character time and again. They face adversity, raise their children, juggle a career, and still find a way to prevail. But we can only do that with a strong support network and friends that we can rely on to vent with, share lessons with, and hope with. We all have sadness and struggles in our lives, but we must also have each other to help us through it. My friends Kimchi and Tina are both pregnant now, and expecting their first child soon. I want to be there to celebrate with them as they join an even greater sisterhood.

As I head into surgery tomorrow, I'll be thinking of my sons and what I want to teach them about my experience long after it's over. They won't remember any of this, but I still want them to know it happened. They need to know that their mother was strong for them long before they could ever see it for themselves, and she could only get through it with the combined strength of so many women who have been, and remain, her friends and allies. I hope to teach them how precarious life can be, and the only defense is strong and resilient friendships. I will also teach them to treat the women in their lives kindly and with respect. As women, we bear our children and we continue to bear so much in life just to ensure that our kids can grow up safe and healthy. We love them, protect them, and teach them- sometimes at great sacrifice to our own health or sense of happiness. But what I wish most for my girlfriends out there is many Happy Hours to come. Please know that you deserve to smile and to be happy, no matter who or what in your life is bringing you down. Know this so that you can raise daughters who become happy, strong women themselves and sons who know how to treat women. To the good men I know, continue to honor the women you love. Take a moment to recognize and appreciate how much they do for you before it's too late. Teach your sons well, for they will look to you as an example of what a man should be.

To ALL of my friends, thank you so much for your support and continued friendship. When I come out on the other side, I will be calling you for coffee or Happy Hour- Count on it!!!